Monday, September 1, 2008
Vacation for the Heart
I just spent the most incredible weekend ever with my boyfriend and I realized more than ever that sometimes all you need is to reminise :) The greatest feelings and outcomes come just from talking :)
A conversation started about the first time Brian and I had met---starting off, the conversation seemed as if it would last 5 minutes but ending with a laugh and a huge smile it was 3 and 1/2 hours later. I learned a lot of things about him that I had never noticed before--- for instance I always thought that he was WAY out of my league and I could never have a chance with him if I tried however despite my negativity I tried. And actually he was thinking the same thing- he was amazed that I was interested in him...the amazign part is that I'm discovering all of this almost 3 years later haha. But if you had asked me 3 years ago what I'd be doing in three years the LAST thing i would have said was I'm completely in love ! <3
Thats another conversation totally .....
anyway..... at the same time I was nervous I'd never have a chance, Brian was completely estatic that I liked him---- I was different----so he put it.... I didn't play basketball and softball but I was capable all the same. I ran to my own music I never followed the pack---- but Im making myself sound like a complete geek right now haha
and by him telling me I was different was the first time I ever realized that I really was.... I live my life with quotes and love stories....and I want to record my life experiences so they too can be a story... essentially I want my own Notebook <3 looove that movie...
I cry to classical music and I LIVe to think differently....not in a crazy freaky needing therapy way but still differently.
I'm a complete sucker for anything pink and anything that smells completely delicious--- Im happiest in my sweatpants watching Mona Lisa Smile and baking peanut butter cookies or watching a basketball game in my jersey--- my life is not glamourous in any way but thats the exact way I prefer it--- I enjoy spending rainy days scrap booking and spending weekends in bed cuddling. And all these things made me different not from everyone but from the other girls around. And this is exactly how I got my chance....by being me. No one makes me happier or makes me feel safer than Brian and thats completely cliche but honestly whole heartedly true.
As our conversation continued we discovered that if we only took a risk at the time we would have found out we were thinking the exact same thing....then a question.....
He asked me what made him right? How did I know.....???
When I was little I began I wanted nothing more than for someone to sing to me...to put there feelings in a song that was made for me and I told my dad this... he told me when you grow up you will find someone that not only sings to you but to your heart.... From then on I was a sucker for guitar players, and basketball players---man they were MY THING....so through M.S. and H.S all I wanted was to be able to go to games and sit there smiling----thats my boyfriend :)
Junior year came around and thats what I got--- Brian was the best on the team # 24 and everyone loved him---but I was his number one fan ! and he played guitar----<3
But...yes there are other guitar playing basketballers out there and maybe they'd make me just as happy-- but he's the one I was always looking for..... without him I'm incomplete (LMM)
He is my definition of: Perfect <3 and to me he's all I'll ever need.
When i can go to sleep at night with a smile and wake-up to his----I'm complete <3